Marriage in Gospel Focus

Ma chère amie, Michelle, introduced this talk by Tim Keller and Kathy Keller to me and I thought I'd jot down some notes here:

(If anyone is interested, you can watch the talk here: http://vimeo.com/45289912)

Marriage:

• is a framework for lifelong devotion between a man and a woman
• is a framework to: design to help each party subordinate their individual impulses and interests in favor of the relationship, the family, and growth of character.
• is a way to bridge the differences in men and women that make them clash and mesh 
• is designed to create a long-term stable environment to raise children
• is good for human character development
• is mutual love, procreation, and protection
• is used to be 'subordinate me to us' ... has now become a terminal sexual contract for one's own gratification
• is love as a covenantal thing: a merger of love and law.  To serve another regardless of how one feels, regardless of the circumstances.
• will bring out the worst, but also the best in you.

Misc:

• no two people are ultimately compatible because they are human and are sinners and are self-centered
• "the assumption is that there is someone just right there for you to marry if you look closely enough you'll find them ... this assumption fails to appreciate the fact that you always marry the wrong person."you never know who you marry you just think you do. marriage means you're not the same person after you've entered it.
• "Learning to love and care for the stranger you've often find yourself married to" (this is an exaggeration)
• Cohabitation is like constantly living in marketing and promotion
• Covenantal love and what love really is
• The thrill is usually just flattery --> that's not love, that's ego
• Screwtape letters: Love is just really hunger, it's an ego emptiness
• Love is sacrificial service, and the delight from someone you've invested your life in
• Jesus didn't love us because we are lovely, he loved us to make us lovely.