I'm going to type this up as quickly as I can because this coffee shop is closing soon.
I thoroughly enjoyed the latter half of the day today. Granted, I spent the morning ... mourning for what I'm typically mourning about and being reluctant to be at work... and not being thankful. It's hard to be thankful. It's hard to be cheerful sometimes and at times, it's really, really hard to just exist.
Not that I'm depressed or anything, but recently I have been quick to pray and quick to seek encouragement now because I used to just wallow in my self-pity and have realized how unhealthy that is. I still like to wallow in my self-pity every once in a while because it honestly feels so good to let a tearful, lengthy cry out of my system, though.
Anyways, I officially withdrew from Santa Clara University this afternoon. It's honestly a good school - caring professors, faculty, counselors, beautifully kept campus - you really do get what you pay for. However, I believe God is calling me to a different path (plus SCU just drained my parents' bank accounts and it was always worrying me). In the meantime, I will be at Community College to transfer to a Communicative Disorders & Sciences Program (most likely one of the CSU schools, since those are the only ones that offer such programs in the nearby area). I just have to get a rather large refund from them and the refund request isn't showing up on my eCampus account.
For the evening, I got to attend the last Sacred Search workshop and we had a panel of married couples talk about dating and marriage and being wise in your marital choice. Knowing now that I take dating very seriously and that I am not someone to fool around as I once thought I could, here is my list that I will now have recorded somewhere so I don't forget and not hurt myself in the future:
Things I definitely will not compromise on:
- Spiritual maturity - same as or better than mine
- Values:
- Love of God before love for me (but I must be second!)
- Forgiving
- Fidelity - emotional and physical
- His definition of love must be that of sacrificial, unconditional, biblical, and covenantal love.
- Importance of prayer
- His life goal is to seek first the kingdom of God and to grow in Christ Jesus together
- Agree to strive to possess the fruits of the spirit, keep God's commands, and actively live out the beatitudes.
- Values rest/sleep
- ... essentially if he loves God and is spiritually mature, everything else in this list will follow suit.
- Respectful and open-minded
- Compassionate
- Assertive but not aggressive
- Good listener
- Timeliness
- Sincerity
- Loyalty
- Genuine appreciate for music, the arts, culture
- Striving to grow as a person
- Taller than me - shoulder must at least be to my nose & relatively good-looking. Sorry, I know these sound shallow but these are things I refuse to compromise on while we're young... but kind of like the last guy i dated.. I honestly didn't find him overly attractive. He was decent-looking, but somehow the more I got to know him, the more handsome and attractive he became to me, so maybe that will happen again (but unfortunately he is still handsome and attractive to me....).
- Revels in deep, meaningful conversations
- Worries about being clean!
Other things that I will be looking for but have varying degrees of importance:
- Different ethnicity. My reason for this is I essentially want two people to explore different cultures in this manner - and to prove to the rest of the world that such a coming-together is possible and that these two people can remain open-minded and respectful towards one another (or at least learn a lot about respect and acceptance).
- Know when to be serious and know when to be silly
- Likes to read
- Likes to be updated with current events
- Likes spontaneous trips
- Likes dogs (i.e. Dog person)
- Likes going out - loves nature, despite the bugs and occasionally unbearable weather
- Likes the city, but maybe not living in the city...
- ... and I will definitely be adding to this list as I continue to be alive and single (and dating if I do again)
Peacee.
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