Hmm

I feel different;
and this brings some hesitation.

Though this may be just one of those short spurts of spiritual highs -
this is definitely one of the greatest spiritual catharses I have ever experienced. Hopefully, one of the most memorable ones, and that this feeling will not go away.

Not only do I feel different spiritually, I feel different as a person.
I feel much more confident (though not social), and I have definitely become much more patient.

I don't know why I decided to this anyway. This is what happens when you let your anger out and explode. I know a friend that does this a lot, and he regrets it - very much, yet he can't really do anything about it because that's what happens when you do something stupid. We both should have prayed for patience, but you can't change the past.

I don't know if I can do anything about it. It feels weird, sinking back to that life I had. In just a short amount of time, I have already walked in and out of people's lives. I'm just kind of scared that if I become who I was again, I'll get so caught up in things again, that I'm going to let go of God. That would be devestating, as basically what had happened. Maybe people can still accept the way I am now? Or not - that's okay, too. I'm a very versatile person, and everyone can get sick and tired of me, and I understand how they would feel. But I kind of wish to stay this way. If they can't accept me, I shouldn't block myself away from them either. They can just accept the 'parts' of me that don't seem so strange? xP But I really like this new perspective of things. I haven't actually changed much? Except that I'll treat things differently and see things differently.. so I guess kind of but, not really? I don't know. We'll see. To be honest, I wouldn't be friends with myself. But I can't really avoid myself so whatever xP

I guess it was like a spiritual retreat? I was able to turn my life to focus more on God. But then again, you don't give up important people in your life for God while you're still living it, either. There's some sort of a balance. Somewhere. I've realized that I desperately need God and music, and music is an instrument that God uses to reach out to me sometimes. But I also realized again, that God made people to be with people, and I can't just break away from the world again.

I feel like God has got a hold of me again, but now ... where do I go?
I guess I will PRAY. I love praying. Even though I haven't really prayed today, yet - -"... But dude, you're talking to someone in HEAVEN! It's.. INDESCRIBABLE! It should be an indescribable feeling, yet lately I've been treating it as... well I don't know, kind of a spacing out kind of time.

I didn't study at ALL today x]
GOD IS GOOD.
I actually should have given the Sunday for God but.. ehhh I don't know if any excuses are plausible enough, so I'm just going to shut up now :x

Good Night, and God Bless! :]