This year, the Valley Church worship team decided to do something different for the summer and go on a Summer retreat with just us musicians, along with our family and friends. I brought along two of my good friends are also on worship teams of other churches.
Mission Springs is rather lovely - petite, but peaceful, clean, and possessing beautiful nature. We left around 5:30 and arrived a little before 6:30 (yes! we escaped a majority of the traffic). When we arrived, we had our delicious dinner, then had some time of worship, small group time, and s'more making time. It was a pretty laid-back retreat, to be honest, it was just a good time to fellowship and just be in the peaceful and contemplative confines of the redwoods.
Overall, this retreat was a good time to be reminded that only when we worship Jesus will we be able to... be, essentially. And when we speak of 'worship' we mean to to exalt something in our lives as something worthy of our attention, time, and thoughts. Worship essentially means to hold something or someone in very high regard. Thus, us being humans, we all worship something. If we are not Christian, we most likely do not worship Jesus. We most likely worship rather mundane things - the opinions of other people, our appearance, money, sex, drugs, alcohol, success, etc...
Just psychologically speaking, when we put our anchor, our hope, and our worth in mundane things, we will always tend to feel insecure in some way. These mundane things are extremely fickle and will never leave us satisfied in the long-term. Even if we don't believe Jesus is real, trust me, if we at least put our worth in Jesus' character, we can discover just how much truth there is in following Him and how much more of a loving person we can become.
Another thing attached to worship that I thought about during the retreat are the other things I highly prioritize in life and am still holding on to. At this point in my life, I can predict myself worrying too much about this whole transfer of major and school. I strongly believe that God has called me into this field of study, so I definitely will be needing to remind myself that He will provide. Additionally, I need to remember that the work that I will eventually end up doing is for the glory of God and for the expression of His love to His people - not for the security of myself. This is something I am praying hard that I don't forget about.
I also thought of you, as I always do, because I know that I am still holding on to you; less tightly, but you are definitely still there. I'm always reminding myself that it's a process. I'm always still praying that you go through some sort of circumstance to force you to seek and find truth (i.o.w. Jesus Christ). You are so incredibly lost and my heart breaks for you, though you don't want my pity. But trust me, you're not the only one with my pity. I just feel bad for being selfish and not exposing you to such life-giving truth. I feel like making things right again in this manner, and as time passes, I become unsure of whether I should ever reach out to you again.
But anyways, it was a good retreat. I enjoyed these two days and I look forward to next year's.
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