I strongly dislike how

I still feel so much pity and heartbreak for you.  I really don't know if this is some kind of lesson in spiritual discernment or not.  In many other things in life, I feel like I am able to sense the still small voice of the Holy Spirit within me.  However, I still can't differ between my thoughts and the Holy Spirit's thoughts with regards to you.  I know, for the sake of my own heart, I would not run back to again (unless you miraculously became much stronger in your faith.  And I'm not saying God wouldn't work a miracle, but I'm not expecting Him to).

I just feel bad how there is such a lack of love in your life.  Not romantic love, but true, biblical, sacrificial, and covenantal love.  I see this love within my family, within my friends, and within the communities I'm in.  I can only think of seeing this kind of love within your family, yet even so, it's a rare occurrence.  It's not that my own family is any more perfect than yours - but we are intentional on working through things.

You are just so selfish and no one seems to point that out to you.  Even when they do point out, they don't seem to do so in a loving manner.  Plus you're also really hard-hearted and proud; not open to corrections because you think you're perfect already.  You don't think things through and you don't choose to grow as a person.  You don't seek truth.  You want what you want and you want it now.  I always just can't help feeling that I'm the only one who notices this about you.  I just can't help but feel that I should do something - but at this point it's still really hard to discern if it's just the lingering of my feelings or if I should actually act and reach out to you.

Being away from you has helped my feelings die down tremendously - the though of you being with another girl doesn't phase me at all, but every once in a while it will hit me.  I definitely still and always will miss you - and I know I will always love and care for you as a person - but are these feelings?  I also don't want to risk having that emotional relapse like I did last month after seeing you in person again.

I feel like if I want to respond to you, I need to respond to you soon, otherwise it'll be awkward responding to you a few weeks down the road - and I still feel conflicted about it.  I've told myself that I won't do anything until talking it out with my listener first.  I have a strong feeling I could reach out and respond to you - but this type of situation happened the week after we broke up, and I could end up not responding to you.