Endure

One dictionary defines it as "to suffer patiently".

What a terribly dreary definition.  Completely understandable, but dreadful.  I feel like I'm only 'enduring' through life now.  As the time passes, I become more and more aware of the emptiness, nothingness, and unholiness of this world; and I don't want to be a part of it.

But part of having this soul placed into this body is to partake in the experience of living this temporal life to its fullest, to find meaning.  It's vital to remember not to allow these misfortunes to dictate your life and overcome your heart and soul, but to use them to your advantage and be able to transcend all superficiality.  Once you've realized all the nothingness, you can pick them out one by one and refuse to have them impact your life in any way.

Unfortunately for me, I'm still merely at the 'realization' stage.  So instead of living or thriving in this life I've been blessed with, I feel like I'm striving to survive and simply just enduring it out.  I don't feel like dying, but the fear of death is at the very bottom of my list of fears.

And to be honest, it is only through a relationship with God along with fellowship with other followers in Christ that I begin to feel some genuine sense of meaning in this world.  I've come to a point in my faith where I can't even fathom how I ever lived my life without God in it the way I've allowed Him to be in it now.