7.18.2012

le dix-huit juillet

Today, with the help of attending Melanie's college-group event, I have realized two very selfish acts that people (and myself) do:

1. Not being with people or being in public when I think I look bad.  Honestly, I know that, especially girls, people think they're probably ten times uglier than they actually are.  If I keep myself at home just because I personally don't think I look presentable, I miss out on the chance to talk to new people.  There could be someone that possibly I could have had a nice conversation with that one day, but instead, I would choose to stay at home.  I can't help it, because like any human being my self-esteem is sometimes based on how I think I look on the outside, but I'm always trying to think of ways to overcome this; especially recently.

2. Contemplating suicide.  A group leader today said that contemplating or actually committing suicide is one of the most selfish things a person can do.  If you commit suicide, you are essentially robbing the world of yourself.  You were put here on this Earth to be a blessing to a large number of people, and for you, you-who could be someone's hope or someone's support, to kill yourself, is definitely a ruthlessly selfish act.  Furthermore, God wanted to see you grow and develop and be a blessing to Him, too.  For Him to give you everything you've ever needed, and to kill this gift-yourself, is.. definitely going to have you sent to hell.  Now I don't know too much about sacrificing yourself for specific, rare events - but logically here, I'm talking about people that just feel they don't want to live anymore.  Honestly, I used to think like that too.  I still don't remember what the hell I was thinking. 

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