Let me just start off by saying I am somewhat jealous of all these actual college students. It's not the fact of education or prestige that I'm jealous of - it's the experience. While a large deal of my classmates have gone away from home and begun to live more independently, I'm still stuck at home, beginning to develop a more "independent" mindset but can't really do anything about it because I'm basically still home and my mom has authority over me. So there's one part of it.
Another part of it is social interaction. I guess coming to De Anza is really interesting because I get to be among a very diverse group of people - whereas everyone else in college mostly are dealing with other teenagers trying to pursue their education. I'm in classes with extremely young parents, veterans who have served in Afghanistan, high school students, and recent college graduates who have decided to go down another path in their overall career. And more, of course. But I just kind of wish I went to an actual UC or something - to be able to interact with actual college students - to actually take classes where professors don't really give a crap about their students so that students actually have to make much more of an effort to get to know professors and to take actual, difficult college-leveled classes. Okay so yes, I'm a little bit jealous of the education aspect of it.
I especially wish I had that dorm experience. To have a roommate and to perhaps check out a party but not do anything stupid. Honestly, it's just really disappointing how I have heard a lot of classmates turn out because of college dorm life. And so I honestly salute and praise my friends and peers who have not given into the temptations of this world.
UC letters for high-school students and transfers have come out this week, and it just feels really awkward when my high school friends tell me about their acceptance letters because I can't exactly feel happy for them. I mean, I do and I congratulate them and all... but the fact that I'll be staying here for another just totally ruins the atmosphere. The weird thing is I feel happier when my "transfer" friends get accepted, as I know that earlier, these friends have gone through what I'm going through right now.
But I guess I'm really lucky too in some sense. I'm saving a crapload of money by finishing my GE's here and I have had the honour of meeting some of the coolest people at De Anza. I get to start off college with a few of my closest friends, and knowing that I'm in such close proximity to these people is very comforting.
It's alright though, I can't even do anything now. During Spring quarter, I'll just type up my essays for the UCs and perhaps inquire after private school requirements with a counselor or something (if they happen to know anything) and apply anywhere I can and finally actually start living life.
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