To big things that have happened lately: driving and retreat with Sarah's church.
I got my permit and am a horrible driver. That's all I have to say.
Retreat was interesting, and very fun. My most favourite thing about camp was the fellowship. There were probably around 15 youth, so we all got to know one another. Everyone was real nice, and no one was left out (unless they wanted to be). Three of the youth were brothers, another two were also brothers, and another three youth that tagged along with Sarah's church were cousins. So as you can see, there were lots of family.
Another thing that I absolutely loved about camp was that it was in the woods! The woods are such a beautiful place to be - the perfect place to marvel at yet another one of God's beautiful creations. I remember taking a walk on our first morning at the camp while listening to some Dario Marionelli-composed music and taking some film photographs. It was so tranquil and calming - having the woods to myself while the sun was just beginning to rise. Not to mention, the morning lighting has its beauties as well for photography.
The environment and people at camp were simply fabulous - I could not have asked for more. But the sermons? Sometimes they were a bit much. The first night went fine; the most everyone did was release their burdens and there were tears for some. I thought it was kind of good to start the camp like this - as everyone could enjoy the rest of camp with burdens lifted. However, the second night was quite different, and I also think, quite ridiculous. The pastor who came to preach to us was Pentecostalist, a person who emphasizes the works of the Holy Spirit within us. Yes, I believe in tongues and prophesying, but what happened that night was a bit too much.
At the end of his sermon the second night at camp, the pastor basically pushed everyone to ask God to help them speak in tongues. Really? In a place where most of us are already believers, where there are no barriers of communication, is it really necessary to force one's self to begin speaking in tongues? I just felt sick to my stomach right before everyone began praying and was in the bathroom most of the time. I began shaking involuntarily afterwards. I can only imagine what the newly-believed thought that night; they must have been frightened! I prayed to God as I was confused - was this God trying to tell me something, or is the evil one trying to take me away from God? A week has passed, and I still don't know the answer. I just hope to find out soon.
The time after the whole "tongue" phase was a time of sharing testimonies. I was the only one that shared twice so I still feel kind of funky about that. One story I shared as about ho I felt so broken down and helpless when I realized I had to go to De Anza. But now, I have the privelege to be in De Anza's honor program and save indescribable amounts of money on taking my general education classes. One person, Tony from Sarah's church, told me about someone he knew who first went to De Anza before transferring to a university:
She is just like me - academics took a strong hold in her life. Where she's different is that she actually was accepted into various UC's, but felt God calling her to first stay close to home and attend De Anza. While she attended De Anza, her mother fell ill and she was able to look after her. Unfortunately, her mother passed away while she was still in school - and if it weren't for her being close to home, she never would have spent much time with her mother before her last breath.
This girl Tony knows also met her current fiance at De Anza! I pray nothing will happen to my mother, but hopefully I can finally find my ideal guy.
Camp was a place where once again, I acknowledged God's presence. I actually acknowledge His presence all time time, but I just don't feel it - which is kind of a sad thing. My friend who has gone off to Biola for college has told me that when she basically meditates on the Bible, she can feel God's presence. Yesterday's sermon I attended basically said the same thing, to meditate on the Bible. So I am trying it out for the time being.
Lately I've also had this struggle of what church to attend. I really like Valley Church, but the person who has I requested to bring me to it and her family is now gone. I went alone yesterday - not that anything is wrong with that. However, I couldn't possibly return to the church I grew up in - I feel so insecure and self-conscious there, as opposed to God-conscious. It would be foolish to fall back. But would I rather that than stand alone?
School has started for all the primary and secondary schools here, while I don't start school for basically another month. My days of being a legal teenager are also limited.
And boys are still strange and gross.
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