May 9th, 2011; 9:12 pm

I didn't want to have to succmb to coming back to this notebook, because that means something is wrong in my life. Which, actually, is true. Denying and forgetting things won't help, so I might as well write it out. And my cursive is becoming rather unappealing so I guess I can practice along the way.

So what's the issue this time? My mother just told me that later in the year she may get layed off from her job. Telling my father this, my mother said he could really care less. He won't bother getting a job still when he has the potential to be financially secure! Why people like him will remain stubborn for all these years I will never understand. Why do you refuse to recognize that mistakes are mistakes, fix them, and then get on with your life accordingly after doing so? It's ridiculous.

My mom can actually just move back to Taiwan if anything happens, so it's no big deal. But what will become of my sister and I? I still have at least four years of college, and my sister's only halfway done with high school. I guess it's just one more thing on my list to pray about. I just wish things weren't that uncertain. But then again, what is life without all its uncertainties?

The advanced placement Calculus test was horrendous, by the way. It went from "Okay, I can do this" to "Oh my goodness there's still an hour left of this when is it going to be over?" It was absolutely dreadful. I bet I got a 2 or something.

And as much as I want to listen to British radio, I think I'm going to stop listening to their world news for the time being because it's all really depressing. Maybe I'll listen to their story reading time instead or something.

And I'm not even sure if I can go to Disneyland with my singing group of friends anymore. People can't seem to make up their minds. And with my family's current financial situation, I don't feel like spending that money when we can be saving it for more useful things. This all also opens my eyes to be more tougher towards my father, even if it might do me physical harm. I just have to carry my sharp keys around again or something.

I hate to say it, but there are times we have to stop dreaming and start fighting reality.