So basically, I really needed church today. Pastor Dean talked about the body of Christ, even though such a subject has been preached countless times, but I believe it needs to be preached countless times, because Christians often forget such a subject.
But one thing I have to remember about being in the body of Christ is not to think so little of myself. It's like the saying that goes something like 'being humble doesn't mean thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less'. And after Pastor Dean's sermon I felt so hyped up to just share my little moment of rejuvination. And I thought the volunteer event I was to go to afterwards, I could do so. But I still ended up being the sometimes quiet girl I am.
It's not that I'm shy. If you show that you're also willing to talk with me, I'd be happy to talk with you. And my proof of this is that I'll talk comfortably and openly when asked to be spoken to. But if not, I guess I'll just seem like the shy, quiet girl. And then for me, there's always that awkward situation of talking with elders. My way of showing respect for them is to become very taciturn and obedient, and then they just think that I don't talk much, which is certainly not true. But if most adults think this way, then I guess there's something I need to change about myself if i don't want this older generation getting the wrong idea.
To make my point, I can initiate conversation. The way I'll continue to portray myself will depend upon the way of the repsonses. And if you start talking with me, I'd be happy to talk with you as well. I wasn't exactly like this a year ago, so I guess I've improved. Slowly, but surely. But yeah if I talk to you and ou continue to give me one word replies then I'm not really going to bother anymore.
And then there's always that issue of directing the conversation towards myself, whcih I'm trying real hard to stop, because no one's going to want to talk to me that way.
Lately I've also not been telling certain people the big picture of certain things. So I asked God for help to do so, and I'll just say that He answered my prayers by letting me run into someone this morning during church.
And with my current position, I don't think I'll ever dare to cross cultures or charisma levels in any kind of relationship. It's a bit scary.
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