So a number of things happened today. First off, the weather was very gloomy, which pretty much describes how the day went.
It was planned that this morning, instead of going to prayer meeting, Jackie and I would chill out on the football field and sing some worship songs - along with my guitar. And perhaps Jackie could review some of her own guitar playing skills. But the weather ended up interfering with our plans. I ended up meeting Jackie in her care before the bell rang, and we got to talk a bit. Some conversation is better than none.
I also had a hard time falling asleep last night, probably because of that nap. So, note to self: do not take naps longer than four hours. I swear it took me like two hours to finally fall asleep after closing my eyes.
Anyways, in Brit Lit today for some reason, all the thoughts of not being able to enter a four-year college after high school finally rushed to my head. It definitely did not feel very good. My father keeps telling me about these "reappeal" things to the UC's. But who is he to decide my future if he refuses to invest in it? I will take a look at this kind of process later, though.
Sometimes a pretense of ignorance really can develop into a genuine kind of ignorance, which then results to never caring about anything in the first place - and these words come from a person who has had countless experiences such as this countless times.
And then something else happened during lunch. I talked with a friend who had noticeablly puffier eyes today - not because of tiredness, but because of sadness. She told me what was going on in her life, which I will not repeat here. But there is something I wish I had said at the time. She told me, or rather, reminded me that according to the Bible, people should be slow to anger - when she herself was acting in rebellion. I'm not trying to point out any hypocrisy, but I guess as Christian children still under the care of Christian guardians, we still have to submit to them. We don't have to like it, or change our views on things and such. But as it is also pointed out in the Bible, there are times when we have to maintain our submissiveness. I'm confident that if my friend does so, God will turn things around in her life.
During this time, Jackie was also listening to another one of her friends' problems. And kind of how Christina puts it - it just comes to show how much people need each other - and sometimes I think that's why there's more than one of us in the first place.
After school I had my walk with Sarah. I can't not say that I'm disappointed in having to go directly to community college after high school. The criteria of the UC's this year was just completely strange. The smartest of my friends didn't get into the expected UC's they should have gotten into - and no offense, the most questionable people got in instead. I don't quite understand it all, but it is all under God's plans.
Sarah, Melanie, and I were also really looking foward to going to London through Melanie's brother. Basically, if he was one of the winners of this enormous racing contest, he would be able to join various racing tournaments throughout Europe. This racing meant a lot to him. But as one can possibly suspect through my tone of writing, he didn't get into the required rankings. His dreams of becoming a professional racecar driver has vanished, and so have our dreams of traveling overseas in the near future.
Melanie has been sick these few days, and has told Sarah the various events she's found for our little quartet to do. They are pretty good events to become known, I must admit. Sarah says how nice it could be if we eventually became well-known enough to tour the world. We'd have opportunities to practice, since most of us are still going to stay in the same area (except lucky Grace, who gets to spend her next few years in Switzerland). I know we like to fantasize, but any kind of hope to rid of this disappointment is better than none at all.
I pray for all the disappointed hearts because of concern of the future.
Hopefully the appointment with the surgeon tomorrow will go well. And I wish my father was not so selfish.
I've also noticed how English is the first language I'll result to now when I feel like this. I used to run off into rages of Chinese. But I guess people change. English just makes more sense to me.
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