= = I can't stop talking about it. But it's better than keeping things in. And I don't know anyone who can actually 100% feel the same way as I do - maybe someone in the world that may one day read this.
It's not even some academic or profession-al thing. It's MUSIC. It's something godly (if used right) - and I can't even give it my all to play with my heart. It's something musical and something that will contine after life on Earth.
But the point is, even though I had no right to become heartbroken - I still failed a once in a lifetime chance. It's not the end of the world or anything, but I know this is will affect me for a while because now I can't even do anything - do homework or study.
I actually don't know what to believe in anymore. I feel like, if I burst out - it might be like satan or something, making me turn against myself, and telling me to be sad about God's plans. But then there's also a reason why God made tears. And then if I don't completely let out how I feel, it could be that God wants me to accept what's in store for me- but then satan could be wanting a dangerous feeling to build up and 在我心裡面折磨我.
I appreciated all the encouragements and compliments. But really? Only I know how ready I am (and God, too .___.). And when I thought everyone was good at pretending everything was fine, I became the greatest actress.
Yea, and you people think someone like me with a hurtful soul and love for things unseen descended from mere amino acids.
1 comment:
I'm sorrry if you feel like some ppl (like me) was pretending everything was just fine even though I didn't even listen to you play D:
well I just like your courage to be able to try out in the beginning.
We'll see what happens, but you did your best and God sees that. There are other orchestras you can try to join and other things that you can do to continue music so don't give up!
I think I sound too optimistic mb?
But anything is possible, so just keep pushing throughh.
Post a Comment