When I felt like you did love me well

To not make it seem like all I want to do now is complain, I do want you to know that I am grateful for you. And please believe me when I say that my intention isn't to bring back certain memories - my main intention is to thank you and point out the moments when you did express love well.

1. Thank you caring for me when I had that case of hives.  Thank you for actually sitting down and taking the time to bring out and apply medicine.
2. Thank you for being patient with me during my many bathroom trips.
3. Thank you for all those times you really wanted to help me with school and those parking fines.
4. Thank you for really considering the lessening of our time together when you picked up that second job as a security guard.
5. Thank you for that time when you really tried to make things right with me before I left for New York for two weeks.  I really saw you taking an effort to try and make me happy even though I could tell you were pretty exhausted at the end of the day.
6. Thank you for treating me out on my birthday the way you did.  I really felt loved by you that day.  I don't think going into details would be appropriate at this time - but you really put my interests ahead of yours and I really appreciated and still do appreciate that.
7. This probably wasn't a pleasurable moment for you - but thank you for not deciding to drink more the evening your roommates got into an accident... I don't exactly know your motive for eventually deciding not to drink more, and it couldn't even have been for me, but I still want to thank you for it because this was another time you put my interests ahead of yours.
8. Thank you for not giving in to the temptation of buying a cigar when you were tired from driving so long during that trip down south, and then still offering to drive more.  You really demonstrated love for yourself and for me that time.
9. And thank you for that time you stayed up and got no sleep, yet still went ahead to work and school, because you wanted to reassure me that everything was fine after that long trip down south.  I think you might have thought that I had fallen asleep, but I did know that you did things to say goodbye as you went out to work early in the morning after a 10-hour drive and no sleep.  You definitely showed much love that time.

I bring up these moments up because I know there is a part of you that yearns to love and knows how to love well, you're not entirely a heartless person and your heart isn't as numb as you want it to be.  And all I will say about the times you didn't love me is that if you haven't noticed, I can actually count these number of times I felt loved by you on the fingers of my hand.  That being said, I don't want you to forget that you need to learn how to love better, as do I, and pretty much most people in this world.

I am almost tempted to apologize for sounding cheesy with all of this - but I'm not sorry at all in pointing out the times when you genuinely showed love.  And I just hope that you could recognize these skills in love that you had and have and not numb your heart anymore, but really take the time to stop, rest, and examine your heart.