Travel

One of my New Year's resolutions for next year is to start blogging again, but since I'm traveling and actually have lots of leisure time, I might as well start now.

I absolutely despise plane rides, but I love traveling because you really do find a sense of self, being away from where you usually are, away from the people you're usually with and when all of those temporarily fall away, you really get an idea of who you are and what you want to be.  This is not something I feel I can explain in great detail - you really have to experience it for yourself.

So far in this trip that's almost a week in, I haven't been who I've wanted to be lately.  Church and God have kind of been put in the back of my mind.  I still pray and do devotions time to time, but going to church has become a sort of a chore.  I read this article once about certain things you discover about (Christian) faith in your 20's, and one thing that I'm particularly "struggling" with, you can say, is having a ridiculous amount of questions.  Perhaps I'll talk about these questions more throughout the year as I begin blogging again.

This whole hype of trying to get an accounting internship has also changed me, I feel.  I feel so stressed, frustrated, discouraged, and regretful that I didn't go to Berkeley to study something that I'm actually interested in, all for the sake of desiring security for my future.  It's stupid, how I fell for the world.  My goal now is to make it seem like I've fallen for the world; I'm only temporarily going with the flow.  One day I feel confident that I will be right back on the path of what God really wants me to do.  I hope I can remember this sense of self that I've regained from this trip and return to school remembering who I am and not to waver and not to care what anyone else thinks of me.

This year I don't really feel like I'm back in Taiwan, probably because my sister and I aren't staying at our grandmother's house like we usually are and because we're not really seeing things.  We're mostly running errands here in Taiwan this time around.  But that's okay.  I'm not as despiteful towards my culture and people as I was the last time I visited.