Let's see, where shall I start...
We had to arrive 7:00 pm sharp and I got there at 7:03 so of course, you know, I was scolded at (no, I wasn't). I thought I had to begin singing right when I arrived, but I actually had time to stay nervous for another 45 minutes longer. A lovely Ruth prayed for me, and my nerves did calm down quite a bit. Daniel said that there would be around 50,60 people - and I kept that in mind. But 50,60 people is pretty intimidating when you're all scrunched up in one room and when you are performing on your own. I usually perform with a band - be it my friends and I or the worship team, I very seldom perform on my own - especially in front of 50,60 people on my own. But it had to be done anyways.
Michelle came, so I was happy to see her. I caught up with Carolyn, announcements came up and then it was time to sing! I will go bullet-point style for this:
- Daniel's guitar is an actual guitar - the guitar I use at home is sort of for novices, so I forgot how wide his fret board was and it took a while to get used to playing it. I don't think the battery was replaced yet, so the wire was still all funny-sounding in the beginning, but it cooperated with me just fine for the majority of my 'performance' (moral of this point - I NEED TO GET AN ACTUAL ACOUSTIC-ELECTRIC GUITAR).
- I played these songs (in this order): Coldplay's 'Yellow', Kari Jobe's take on 'The More I Seek You', and Starfield's 'Cry In My Heart'.
- My heart was beating very, very quickly and loudly throughout the performance but of course, only I was aware of that.
- It was dead quiet when I was singing. But then again, whenever I sing on my own I always tend to cast some spell of silence on the people I'm performing to. I just kept trying my best to remember to whom I was really singing to.
- People were recording me! Agh....
- Lots of praise. All glory to God. All I said was "Thank you" - what else was I supposed to say?
After that, two people from our Bible study group gave their testimonies. One of them was pretty powerful and mind-blowing and just left me in a state of 'wowww....'. Then we played a few really fun games. Everyone started getting frustrated and bored during the last game because it was taking too long to finish, and I kept talking to this girl, Keke, that I just met.
Overall, it was a blast. It was really fun, I met tons of cool people. There were also quite a handful of very good-looking young guys, haha. Most of the people go to De Anza, but unfortunately, not a lot of them go to Sunday Service. However, this Friday fellowship group is a good start for them all anyways.
Pastor Daniel also wants me to do a solo in front of the congregation next week! He wants me to introduce the "Cry In My Heart" song to the congregation... which is like... 150+ people every week, ahahahahahahahahahahaha........... going to need lots of Prayer.
Awesome God. Awesome church. Can't wait to fellowship with all these international students again!
--------
So here is the contemplated part of this post. I do notice that something strange happens when I sing, and it even feels strange when I sing. It's almost as if it's not my own body that is producing the sounds through my respiratory system and through my vocal chords. I'm aware that I sing with much feeling - I'm not too sure how my voice sounds - but I notice every time I sing, the audience is usually dead silent. Literally, dead silent - eyes wide open and everyone as silent as a grave. One of the head coordinators of ISF said it is pretty difficult to get the entire room silent, yet my performance did the trick. Singing occasionally makes me hyper-aware of the Holy Spirit, sometimes I know it really isn't me singing. It's pretty encouraging yet somehow horrifying at the same time (same with when I play the piano sometimes - it feels like my fingers are in flight or something). It's also essential to not allow all the praise and acclamation get to my head - so when people complimented me I gave my thanks and quickly changed the subject.
I also want to complain about something else, but it's good to not dwell on those thoughts.
No comments:
Post a Comment