It's literally unbelievable how much we've changed.
We grew up together, both daughters of broken families. Talking about random things, superficial or meaningful, was always very enjoyable and well, fulfilling. Being rebels, towards our families as well as to society's expectations of girls, was also something we connected well with.
As we matured, our passions separated, and so did the cultures we identified with. The cultural differences aren't really what mattered - but to be honest, it genuinely shocks me to see you so consumed with the most mundane of mundane things. Your soul has a dark pit that you're trying to fill, and I possess something similar (but don't we all?).
I understand the hatred you have. I understand the bitterness you have. That was probably one reason why we clicked so well. I once had these harsh feelings as seriously as you did. Granted, the bitterness and hard feelings are still there with me and the way I've chosen to deal with it is through supernatural means, means that are not temporal. It is an ongoing process, and I try my best to fill the dark pit with things of the light.
You are obviously trying to fill this dark pit as well, but of things that will never actually satisfy your spirit nor quench your soul of its thirst for meaning. Once those things have worn up and torn up and broken, it seems like you will keep chasing after the same things only to have the same processes repeat themselves again.
I'm not saying that my way is right and your way is wrong - the interpretations of right and wrong really are sometimes subject to opinion. However, I am saying that this path that you have chosen will not make your life fulfilling if you continue to go on this way; and fulfilling doesn't exactly have to do anything with happiness or success. It's just that I personally don't think you will ever satiate the hungers of your spirit and soul with the methods you attempt to fill them up with.
I will be praying for you, and I hope one day we may cross paths again or just simply decide to talk once more.
Love,
Tiffany
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