So I'll be rambling for a bit here.
It's 6:06 in the morning, and I've been up since 2:35 am. I've been lying down and resting, but I haven't actually been asleep. This problem of waking up in the middle of the night has been going on for almost three weeks. At first I'd just wake up at 6:00 or 5:00, which isn't that bad. However, I've been waking up earlier and earlier and soon I might as well not sleep at all. Some people say that insomnia is caused by abnormal hormonal activity - and this lump I discovered a few days ago confirms that (so does the sudden amounts of acne appearing on my face).
But on nights like these, I'll try to read through some of the Bible - or pull up a Francis Chan video on YouTube because God has really blessed him with a really good speaking talent. I don't know if I'm just trying to use this sleeplessness to my advantage to learn more about God as a father and His word, or maybe God intended things to be this way.
Lately I've also been considering applying to Biola. I'll definitely most likely be sending out an application for Fall 2013 there, and I'd be extremely happy if I could be able to be a student there (after I can sort out financial stuff). And if I don't get accepted, I'm entirely okay with that too. But part of the reason I don't really want to go there is because I feel like I'm treating the school as a safe haven, where the devil can't get to me there. Then I have to remind myself that it's probably the exact opposite - especially for a school like Biola who is trying to advance God's kingdoms through a 21st century method - the school is definitely a giant target. Yet there it stands. I think I'm kind of also afraid of continuing to live in a sheltered environment, and the Biola college environment seems to give me an impression of that. Yet, it's only inside Biola itself. Once you step outside the boundaries of Biola you're essentially stepping into the streets of one of the greatest urban areas of the world - definitely not 'sheltered'.
We'll see
It's 6:06 in the morning, and I've been up since 2:35 am. I've been lying down and resting, but I haven't actually been asleep. This problem of waking up in the middle of the night has been going on for almost three weeks. At first I'd just wake up at 6:00 or 5:00, which isn't that bad. However, I've been waking up earlier and earlier and soon I might as well not sleep at all. Some people say that insomnia is caused by abnormal hormonal activity - and this lump I discovered a few days ago confirms that (so does the sudden amounts of acne appearing on my face).
But on nights like these, I'll try to read through some of the Bible - or pull up a Francis Chan video on YouTube because God has really blessed him with a really good speaking talent. I don't know if I'm just trying to use this sleeplessness to my advantage to learn more about God as a father and His word, or maybe God intended things to be this way.
Lately I've also been considering applying to Biola. I'll definitely most likely be sending out an application for Fall 2013 there, and I'd be extremely happy if I could be able to be a student there (after I can sort out financial stuff). And if I don't get accepted, I'm entirely okay with that too. But part of the reason I don't really want to go there is because I feel like I'm treating the school as a safe haven, where the devil can't get to me there. Then I have to remind myself that it's probably the exact opposite - especially for a school like Biola who is trying to advance God's kingdoms through a 21st century method - the school is definitely a giant target. Yet there it stands. I think I'm kind of also afraid of continuing to live in a sheltered environment, and the Biola college environment seems to give me an impression of that. Yet, it's only inside Biola itself. Once you step outside the boundaries of Biola you're essentially stepping into the streets of one of the greatest urban areas of the world - definitely not 'sheltered'.
We'll see
No comments:
Post a Comment