Today I went to Panera again to study for a short time, and something caught my eye/ear:
There was this mother and her two young girls. They were talking about everything and anything, from the business and legal history of Panera to taking their mother to the most hip restaurants when her younger girls grow up and to just always remaining a family and always wanting to be around each other. And I just thought, why couldn't I have that kind of relationship with my parents? No one in my family is simply that open and always wanting to be like "Look, mommy" or "look daddy" and even when we did they showed signs of disapproval or disinterest.
I don't know, I've just been thinking a lot lately of what my friend told me a few days ago. I mainly don't want a family of my own because of the broken one I grew up in - but I could be the one (or my sister too aha) to start a family that and never let it become as broken as the one I'm in. To have that kind of relationship I saw today in Panera would be one of the most wonderful things ever, I think.
I've also been thinking about a mother's love lately a lot. They say a mother's love is the most greatest, unconditional type of love. My mother says I would never understand the love a mother has .. to love someone that came out of your own being as strange as that sounds, unless I have my own. And to be honest, deep down, I do want to understand a greater kind of love (other than the love of Christ) because I am having a really hard time doing so. But I'm not just going to randomly go off and have a baby. I will say that strangely, it's slowly becoming a consideration now.
But I still really do want to adopt a child, though, regardless of if I get married or not. My heart always breaks for orphans for some reason.
There was this mother and her two young girls. They were talking about everything and anything, from the business and legal history of Panera to taking their mother to the most hip restaurants when her younger girls grow up and to just always remaining a family and always wanting to be around each other. And I just thought, why couldn't I have that kind of relationship with my parents? No one in my family is simply that open and always wanting to be like "Look, mommy" or "look daddy" and even when we did they showed signs of disapproval or disinterest.
I don't know, I've just been thinking a lot lately of what my friend told me a few days ago. I mainly don't want a family of my own because of the broken one I grew up in - but I could be the one (or my sister too aha) to start a family that and never let it become as broken as the one I'm in. To have that kind of relationship I saw today in Panera would be one of the most wonderful things ever, I think.
I've also been thinking about a mother's love lately a lot. They say a mother's love is the most greatest, unconditional type of love. My mother says I would never understand the love a mother has .. to love someone that came out of your own being as strange as that sounds, unless I have my own. And to be honest, deep down, I do want to understand a greater kind of love (other than the love of Christ) because I am having a really hard time doing so. But I'm not just going to randomly go off and have a baby. I will say that strangely, it's slowly becoming a consideration now.
But I still really do want to adopt a child, though, regardless of if I get married or not. My heart always breaks for orphans for some reason.
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