10.10.2012

Speaking of all these relationships and feelings

Lately I've also been contemplating the fact of guys and girls being friends.  Obviously it's possible because everyone has friends of both genders, and I do have guy friends, just not guy best friends..  In reality, most of them are actually acquaintances.  We seldom talk to each other but whenever I get to run into one of them, having a little chat is nice.  And it's recently I've discovered a recurring pattern about myself.

I don't like getting too close to guys.  I've talked with a friend before, and basically pretty much my closest girl friends and I - we're the kinds where if we get too close to a guy, feelings would start to develop.  Based on experiences throughout high school, personally, getting close to a guy wasn't a pleasant experience.  Now I admit my friends and I do all have close guy friends, but I believe at one point in any 'simple' friendship between a guy and a girl, that had to be one point, perhaps temporary even, that one of would begin to extremely admire the other - and then that would grow into a bigger, warmer feeling.  With my friendships, most of the time it wasn't me, thank goodness, but I have been that one.  For some people that feeling has remained.  For others, like me, it's evidently something of the past.

Also I just don't understand guys to begin with lol

I don't think I'll get married - and if I do, it won't be because of love.  I have such a love-hate feeling towards guys that marriage would definitely just be hell if I was actually in love with my husband.

Today my Humanities professor stated "Love opens to you life's greatest pleasures, but also the greatest sufferings".

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