Interesting social oddities I've noticed about myself

I'm probably like the only person in the world that thinks about this stuff, but I guess that's what makes me me.

I notice when I sit at a table full of white people.  I also notice it when I sit at a table full of Asian people.  In both cases, I feel uncomfortable.  Physically speaking, I don't fit in with white people.  And mentality-wise, I don't fit in with most Asian people.  I don't really belong anywhere, and that can be a good or bad thing.    I know I shouldn't be thinking about outward appearances in the first place - and I usually don't when I'm in a more diverse group but when surrounded by people of one particular ethnicity - it's going to stand out.   I guess the good thing about this is I can't really be nationalistic or racist or proud about anything, and this give me a splendid opportunity to be more open-minded.  The bad thing is an identity issue, which is to be honest, very frustrating to have.

There are also times when I sit with a bunch of girls, or I'm the only girl within an area of the classroom.  The funny thing is I actually feel a lot more comfortable in a group of guys than a group if girls.  For some reason, it really bothers the crap out of me when girls - like every other girl at school -wear tons of make-up on themselves and I can't really get myself to look at that.  Guys can act like children, too.  But for the most part, I'm not as self-conscious around guys as I am when I'm around other girls.  Note that this is only when we're not talking, though.  If we'd ever have to get in a group and start talking I'd talk very differently between the two genders, and then I'd rather be in a group of girls.  Most of the time.

Now I know race definitely doesn't matter, but as one begins to grow up, unfortunately, gender does begin to matter and I am actually still not as used to that as most people are.