Today I stayed the longest I ever have on the Valley Church campus - almost five hours! Well, I go early at 9:30 am for a worship team devotional, and then service ends at 12:15. Today, however, we had a potluck and I left close to 2:30 pm. I made sandwiches and at the end of the event, only around six people ate them (including me). So I have to eat a whole bunch of sandwiches myself for the week. But it's alright, because the worship leader bought a whole bunch of Asian food and this giant pan of noodles - which all 17 ish of us didn't finish, so we took some home.
But it was cool. I kind of opened up more (mainly when the leader was around cause he's like... the leader, you know) and this girl I talk with - I enjoy her company but I feel like talking with her is a complete deadlock. Actually, to be honest, I feel talking with most people at Valley Church is a complete deadlock... Or to be even more honest, most conversations I have with people are complete deadlocks. Unless I have known someone for a fairly long time, or we have gone through something distressing together, then I am going to take a really long time to open up. But this new friend and I really like Starbucks and so perhaps we could go get some Starbucks and talk and maybe it won't be such a deadlock anymore. I don't feel awkward, I just feel... like nothing's going anywhere and I'm just essentially trying to use like a piece of paper to poke through a sheet of steel which is never going to work.
And yes, I admit - at times I still am shy. But there are those other times where I feel very extroverted and energetic. I'm afraid I'll say something offensive, or think that people will think I'm weird - two things I absolutely despise.
I notice that I just seem to get along better with older people. They're more calm. Or have grown to be more calm and I'm just naturally more calm.. with people I don't know too well. At the potluck today, we "subconsciously" split into four groups - the group with families, the couples group, the college and graduates group, and the high school group. I'm actually a lot closer (age-wise) to the high schoolers, but I mostly talk to the college graduates. Because they're essentially my age, I look their age, and we're all a lot calmer than the high school students.
I've also been listening to Edith Piaf all evening and even though I've never been to Paris, her music literally is the soul of Paris - I feel like it's night and I'm just walking through the lit streets of Paris with these sweet Paris cuisine smells and it just feels soo nice. This is my favourite by her right now:
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