1:52 pm

One part of myself I think I need to fix is expressing my thoughts clearly. I'll say things without much explanation sometimes, and then just assume the other party comprehends what I've just sad, which can kind of kill the conversation. Sometimes I don't feel like explaining too much because I feel that if I do, I'll be insulting the other party, possibly implying that I think I'm smarter than they are or something of that sort. And such situations have actually occurred, where people have been mistaken and offended, so I don't exactly get what to do anymore. Furthermore, if I can't express my thoughts well enough in English, imagine me trying to do so in a Chinese speaking environment. It's an absolute nightmare.

Life feels so unbelievably dull right now.

I wish I had more things to say sometimes, because I am definitely not shy anymore. I honestly just don't have many thoughts or ideas to express in the first place. My mind draws a constant blank - which is not necessarily a bad thing - it's just that I honestly have no commentary that my brain can process or seem to pick up.

Another strange thing about myself is that if I don't know someone too well, I feel like I basically don't "qualify" to talk about myself, thus I will continuously try to inquire after the other person (I kind of criticize the guys I know for doing the same thing, though...). It's just that I feel so selfish when I talk about myself. I don't like it. This brings a bit of a problem at my workplace, where I can't inquire after some of my older coworkers because of cultural courtesy; which is kind of stupid because we're all in America anyways.