It makes me sad how there are so many people who don't like America/Americans..."You're American? No. Don't call yourself that...that's no good. You're Chinese." Even though, truthfully...I'm not very fond with America myself...it still hurts to be told not to call myself who I am. ugh. whatever -_-This friend of mine is not going through a cultural identity struggle (or I haven't really heard of anything like that), but I am - so this especially strikes me as strange/curious. I'm not giving any kind of opinion towards my friend's tweet - her tweet has just finally got me to talk about something that is continually troubling me all the time.
In my very essence, I am Chinese - that is an undeniable fact. Countries will hate me for it but whatever screw them all and their close-mindedness. Regarding what I think of my nationality, that is for me to decide. Right now, I don't exactly know - because of all the assumptions that come with belonging into a certain group.
Sometimes I wish to disregard nationality or ethnicity in general - why does it matter? Yet, I'm still curious towards these sorts of things - but at least I know to me that it doesn't matter (and racists seem incapable of grasping this understanding).
In America, I am treated just like any other stereotypical Asian. However, in my (very Chinese) workplace, I am looked at as "the American", and so some of my coworkers don't have a tendency to talk to me. I'll make an effort to talk to them, but then my impatient self comes into play because I have no clue what my coworkers are saying 70% of the time (because of their different Chinese accents).
I used to describe myself as being Taiwanese and Taiwanese only, which I guess I will still call myself to a small extent, but technically I can choose to be Chinese or Taiwanese in such a situation. I loved the idea of being "fobby" and having all the interests that went along with it.
It was stupid, to be honest. How close-minded I was. I remember hating American culture for a while - thinking of how rude white people were. But now when I look back, I actually just ran into a bunch of genuinely rude people - it had nothing to do with their cultural or ethnic identity.
What I really admire about America is how community-oriented it is, seeing that it is basically the melting pot of all cultures. Regardless of age, gender, nationality, most Americans are very accepting and open-minded; I guess because they're used to being absorbed in such an environment. But some Americans are just plain stupid - and unfortunately those stupid Americans' news is what the rest of the world hears or sees about.
Because no one cares about good news, if you think about it.
Anyways, not to diverge onto a different topic - there are also many other things I don't like about America. I absolutely love the freedom - yet sometimes America can be way too liberal to the extent that I just want to slap America in the face (I won't say what).
And talking about America, I guess I should reach back to their roots - England.
Lately I've also been extremely into English culture - mostly the arts and literature, though. I don't know much about their urban or social culture - but all I will say is that it seems much more messed up than America's. As is their government.
Okay now I'm just rambling.
But if I were to study abroad like this friend of mine, how would I respond to a question such as "What nationality are you?" or something like that? Obviously, I'm some type of Asian - but at the moment I'm not really fond of being associated with anything oriental (as ironic as it seems, me, a girl at an Asian bakery). If I said I was American, what if I received the same kind of answers as my friend did here?
Well personally I would ask why they wouldn't want me to be American in the first place. But that could go into a dangerous conversational territory. I'm not entirely fond of America either, but honestly, I think being "American" is the most accurate description of my nationality at the moment.
It's so interesting how looks play a big part of everything. In Taiwan, I look like a 100% "fobby", Taiwanese girl - without choice. But once strangers or family being to hear me talk, their faces obviously express some kind of curiosity or disappointment - depending on how much pride they have of their people. In Taiwan, thankfully, I get curiosity. Taiwanese are just stupid in the fact that they respect people of different cultures, or Taiwanese who have been embedded in other cultures - but they don't really respect their own people (except when it comes to like bargaining for clothing or something).
And I feel like Taiwan is the only country that does that. Every other country is so proud of their own people - and sort of racists towards others. Especially European countries - which frustrates me because I want to travel all around Europe, in places where people will begin to have presumptions about me just because of the structure of my face and my hair color.
Why can't people accept diversity?
Why is it so hard?
I don't know if it would make me feel if people dislike America or Americans. I don't really like Asians in general so whatever. But in the end it's the person that counts, I guess - which most of the world doesn't comprehend.
Okay yep I'm rambling now. I really don't know how to express how I feel at the moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment