Pyramid

I still don't get why that song is called 'Pyramid', though....

but yeeeee. I was watching the MV for that for like the 2793847938 time. And then this was the first time I liiiike I don't know... 同情 Charice? It's not really 同情 I don't know how to describe it... But in the beginning of the MV... there's like some kind of audition or tryout or something, and the list comes out of all the participantes who have made it. And she runs her finger down the list and doesn't see her nameeeee and is upset.

heh but yeah when I saw that for like the 2793847938 time I finally felt what she did xp I just remembered that time when I tried out for chamber orchestra for violin, and didn't make it. Gooosh... the weekend that followed was the most horrible weekend of my life. I couldn't think, didn't feel like eating, didn't feel like doing ANYTHING. I just wanted to cry.. which I did... and I just reminding myself that God has better plans for me than chamber orchestra or whatever. So I just told myself that I was never meant to be in chamber orchestra, and just went back to playing piano.

I couldn't look at my violin for the longest time. I made sure it was always hidden under my bed so I didn't have to think about it. I didn't listen to any music with strings in it. And I heard my audition music on TV once - it's a beautiful song but I couldn't listen to it. I just wanted to close my ears and SCREAM. I wanted to change the channel but I couldn't because my mom was watching something -____-... but yeah I think I like went to my room and turned on the volume on my earphones super loud - I couldn't handle it.

And this doesn't happene to me often - I'm not the person who would not be able to handle these kinds of things. Like if I didn't make it into a college or I had a super bad grade or something - I really wouldn't care less. haha but again, I guess there's something about music ^^;

And then one day during lunch I went into the choir room with a few friends preparing for their Variations audition, and I just started playing the piano in there. And at the end of lunch, a random girl came up to me and told me how much she likes my playing - even though I was playing like super easy songs and super easy chords. But I was like OH HEHE THANKS you know? -____-

But yeah that got me thinking for a while @___@ if I really do like music as much as I say I do, why does it matter which instrument I get in chamber orchestra with?

Gosh sorry I feel like I'm rewriting my college essay LOL

but yeah basically I'm a pianist in Chamber Orchestra now D: hahahahahha

k bye -____-"