So I was thinking about how cold it was, and that Winter's almost here (I can't believe it's not here already my goodness -___-). And then I thought about snow - and then 8th grade science camp. And then this one particular event during 8th grade science camp - that I really, really regret not taking part in.
On one of the nights, there was a night hike. It wasn't with our normal hiking groups, as I remember I was still with my cabin buddies, and the usual hiking groups are arranged so that people aren't put into the same groups as their cabin mates. Anyways, we walked to a place five to 15 minutes away from the campsite, and sat down for a while and talked and stuff or something. We were right next to this huge field of beautiful, white, untouched snow. It was this large, empty space, and if you looked up, the sky was FILLED with stars. It was really beautiful. And so the hiking instructor with us at the time gave us the opportunity to go out on the field, lie down for a while, and look up at the stars. If I were given that opportunity now, I wouldn't have hesitated to run out to the field and appreciate the night sky.
But at the time? I was so frightened for some reason. I didn't like the idea of going out to this open space in the wild(basically), and being by myself in the DARK (yes, even with glittery snow and shining stars, it was still pretty dark). We had the option of staying behind with the instructor, sitting someplace nearby, or going out and lying in the field covered in snow. I asked my buddies, Ashley and Sylvia, if they would stay behind with me. I don't remember why Ashley didn't go out in the snow, but nonetheless she just sat somewhere nearby. When I asked Sylvia if she could stay with me, she said she didn't want to miss the opportunity of being able to lie down in the snow and look at the stars. She told me she would really regret it if she didn't take this chance. So, Sylvia went out on the field.. in the dark, Ashley went to sit somewhere... and I didn't want to look lame, so I just went to sit somewhere as well.
I don't even understand why I was so afraid at the time - right now nothing's running through my head as to why I was so frightened. How come now I would have been so "risk-taking", whereas back then I was such a coward? It's just snow, it's just the dark - and there's still LOTS of people around me. A wild animal probably would not have hurt me, and even if something did happen, I wouldn't even have to yell or scream that loud because there was still lots of people around me!! AND the campsite lights were even in sight. I just remember my heart was beating really fast, partly because I was really scared of being in the dark by myself. But I don't think being alone in the dark was the only reason as to why I was scared.
It still makes me really angry that I didn't take this chance, and I really do regret it. But I guess I give props to Sylvia for not letting her current feelings take over her decisions at the time.
And I guess what I'm trying to say here is also that no one should let their current feelings impact any kinds of decisions. To take it further - regret will take place, relationships may break, huge mistakes might be made.
But yeah -___-" I guess this is my biggest regret so far in my life. I've experienced regret but have also prevented future regret - sooo... yeeeeah >____>?....
haha sorry I don't know how to end this with an 'umph'
It's just something I'm kind of disappointed in right now -____-"
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