So today

I did something I had never ever done before.

Usually, when I pray to myself, I pray in my mind.
And my mind is a very distracting place - as I'll hear sounds and see images that distract me from prayer (that sounds kind of inappropriate but its not >:[ just distracting, not 'disturbing')

But for a while, I have been wanting to pray out loud, to myself. ...

psh
'to myself'


I mean from myself only to God.
Like a one-on-one daughter-to-Father talk.

It was quite exhilarating. I really need to do this more often. I might even talk about this in my college essay or something LOL XD

I didn't dare to look at anything, it would be strange. Closing my eyes would feel strange too, so I covered my eyes with my hands, and began out loud talking to Him.

IT's the STRANGEST experience.
Do you know how when someone's finger is near your forehead, you feel like this buzzy feeling all over the top half of your head?
That's what if felt like!
Though I knew God is present all the time and that He is always watching and always there -
I actually FELT the presence of God.

My body felt real strange - kind of heavy. My arms felt tired, I could feel the the blood rushing out of hands. I felt like peeking once in a while, but at the same time, my arms felt locked.

So I prayed in Chinese and English, but mostly English -___-. I prayed for people - for family, for friends, for the mission team. I prayed for the world, I prayed for myself. And I don't know. It was kind of this feeling that someone was nodding their head as I said all this stuff out loud.

!!! But it's such a strange feeeling!!!
Whenever I do pray aloud, its front of people... so.. I don't know - I feel kind of fake when I pray in front of people. All I think about is, "Oh no what if my prayer doesn't sound cool enough" or something.

But omg! I REALLY NEED to do this more often.
MUCH MUCH more often.

And everyone else should too! When no one's home, just talk to Him - like TALKTALK to Him. And maybe you'll experience something you've never experienced before ;]