So today was a rather.. emotional day for me - -" It's not that I'm hiding it, it's just that there's no point in showing it. I did kind of show it to a few friends, but most of them seemed to oppose me.
Though I thought today's assignment in lit was pretty dumb, I guess it was also pretty exhilarating. The stories people wrote about was probably about family, friends, religion, or traveling. Mine? I wrote about my most recent self-conflict. I tried to comfort myself in the last conclusion, but I began rambling nonstop about ... I don't even know. After I was done writing, I turned my paper in, 回座位，拿出午餐來吃，然後開始哭。
Of course, everyone just thought I was just sick. That's okay though. It's not like I made it super obvious or anything. But it was a nice time to finally let everything out.
Or so I hoped. Since most people left after lunch, I went to the choir room to see if there were people I knew, and there was. I began to play the piano again after not playing for a VERY long time. And then I began to think, why didn't I try out for two instruments? I know I can only get into one, but sticking two tickets into the ticket box gives a better chance of winning the raffle. At the end of lunch, a completely random girl came up to me and starting saying that she really likes the way I play. I was just simply playing basically chords, yet she said there was a lot of emotion and feeling to it. Well of course, I just said 'thanks', you know?
During 7th period I went with a friend to her classroom, and couldn't stop thinking of why I didn't try out for piano. I kind of thought that playing a non-string instrument in Chamber orchestra would be strange, but I didn't know I would become this desperate. I don't even have anyone supporting me anymore. I know I'm being stubborn, but who says I can't just ask a simple question first?
Right now I really feel like the world is against me. No one even wants me to try out again. They're saying that I'm not good enough and asking why I would even consider it in the first place. But just like I act to anyone, your disencouragements make me want to go against you people even more.
To be honest, I don't even get why I want to join so much. I just want to. It's just that. And this time will definitely be the final straw - because after this, I don't have anything else anyway.
