I know it sounds like I'm those people that use other people just to talk to when I'm in need. But even as you said, it may even be in depressing times that we come to You.
Not that I'm THAT depressed, even You know that, but being this much disconnected from you just for two weeks has made me ... rather autistic.
Until today. Why does it take such... well it's not wordly, either, but... something that is rather of small significance compared to you, to get me up and running again?
I've realized I've haven't really been focusing my life on You as much, and I'm not going to give excuses because there really aren't none, except that I haven't been as faithful. I definitely feel guilty.
I miss it when I could talk to You through the clouds.
And You were able to show me your happiness through the sunrise.
You see? This is a huge reason why I'm not very open about my relationship with You.
Now people might be thinking, "Wow, this girl is just doing this just to get a good score on the SATs or something tomorrow".
Well... I guess first off You're thinking, why do you care what other people think?
I don't know. I don't want to.
And you know I'm not doing this just for tomorrow either. That would be insane.
I want to skip and be active and twirl my umbrella against the fence over the highway and jump when I'm excited and run around huge rocks near Your shores and take big interests in those intricate things everyone is so afraid of and be loud when I'm happy. But I'm so driven by opinions not of mine, and what's worse, not of Yours.
Since when did the world's opinion create me?
I guess life is a big test of our faith and love.
And no, the world's opinion obviously didn't create me.
It's merely covering me.
But honestly,
talking to You and thinking of You again has definitely made me feeling much better.
I thank You for Your Love, Your Unending Grace, and just... I thank You that You Are!!
- Amen.
