So apparently

the auditions for Chamber Orchestra is bothering me.... a lot.

我不常為一樣的事哭兩次。

Why was I so stupid freshman year? How come because of some person that I don't even know I decided to abandon my passion for music? Or when did I realize my passion for music?

If she can't make it, then I must be some joke.
Two months is not enough, even with the practice, the prayers, the teaching, the memory.

I know God gave us things to be passionate about, but I can't even put much use for it - for any of my passions.. yet, at least.

Maybe high school just isn't my time. 可是我該怎麼知道呢？

2nd Corinthians says :

We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you.

How do we know our limitis, our boundaries, our fields? In Day 32, Warren stated that when we tried to push beyond our limits, we experience stress and frustration.

I guess ... the only way to know is just to continue practicing until further notice of the requirements :/

..反正我現在也只能繼續禱告而已。


It's either one of two options (well duh yes or no):
1. God does not want me to join Chamber - He's already telling me that my skill is not enough.
2. God does want me to join Chamber - to have faith and keep practicing.

I don't know, but #2 is a bit hard for me to accept now. I would still like to think that I don't have to believe in worldy reality because this world was made by Heavenly reality ...　可是。。。　我就是不知道。。。